When Time Stands Still

From Dissertation to Essay

We tend to think of time as something that moves.

Clocks tick.

Years come and go.

Children become adults.

Trees grow.

Everything moves forward.

Yet there are experiences that seem to suspend this movement.

Something happens.

And even though the calendar continues, part of life remains still.

When the Past Became the Present

A serious violation does not necessarily remain in the past.

It may continue to live in the body.

In memory.

In dreams.

In the way the world is understood.

For someone who has never experienced this, it may be difficult to understand.

They may ask:

“Why do you not simply leave it behind?”

But the question is based on the assumption that the past always remains in the past.

This is not always the case.

Some experiences continue to be present.

The Body’s Calendar

Through the work on my doctoral dissertation, I became increasingly aware that the body seems to keep its own calendar.

A particular room.

A smell.

A tone of voice.

A date.

A facial expression.

Suddenly, it is as though the years between then and now disappear.

This does not mean that the person has lost touch with reality.

It means that experiences are sometimes stored in ways that allow them to be awakened again with great intensity.

The Ethics of Patience

We live in a time when much is expected to happen quickly.

Assessment.

Treatment.

Results.

In helping work, too, we may become impatient.

We want progress.

We want signs of development.

We want life to move forward.

But those who work with people gradually learn that time cannot be forced.

Some processes do not follow the calendar.

They follow trust.

Remaining

Through the research, one experience became increasingly clear.

What often made the greatest difference was not the great words.

It was the people who remained.

Who did not withdraw when the story became difficult.

Who could bear the repetitions.

Who did not demand that development should follow their own timetable.

In this way, another human being may become a witness to the fact that time is moving again.

The Meaning of Repetition

From the outside, it may seem as though people tell the same story again and again.

The professional may think:

“I have heard this before.”

But perhaps repetition is not primarily a sign that nothing is happening.

Perhaps it is an expression of the person’s attempt to find new words.

New connections.

New meanings.

The same story is rarely entirely the same.

Each time it is told, something small may have changed.

Time as Maturation

We often use the word processing.

As though experiences could be dealt with once and for all.

Perhaps maturation is a better word.

Not because the pain diminishes by itself.

But because the person slowly grows around it.

What once filled the whole of life gradually becomes one part of a larger life.

Not less serious.

But less all-encompassing.

The Professional’s Clock

The person who helps also carries a clock.

Working hours.

Deadlines.

Reports.

Evaluations.

All of this is necessary.

But the person we meet often lives in another kind of time.

If we follow only our own clock, we risk losing the rhythm of the other.

Professional competence therefore also involves the ability to wait.

Not passively.

But attentively.

When Life Begins to Open

No one can point to a particular day and say:

“Now it is all over.”

Yet something happens.

One day, the person plans a journey.

Another day, they begin to think further ahead than the coming week.

A third day, they realise that an entire afternoon passed without the past filling everything.

Such moments may appear small.

Yet they may be signs that time has begun to flow again.

The Gift of Time

Through the work on my doctoral dissertation, this remained as a quiet insight.

Professional social work is not only about understanding people’s histories.

It is also about respecting their pace.

No helper can hurry another person into a new phase of life.

But one human being may meet another in a way that makes it possible to wait without losing hope.

Perhaps this is one of the most underestimated forms of care.

Not to fill time.

Not to force development.

But to share it.

For when a person experiences that another is willing to remain present even in slow time, something almost imperceptible may begin to happen.

Time no longer stands still.

Almost without anyone noticing, it begins to move again.

For when a person experiences that another is willing to remain present even in slow time, 

something almost imperceptible may begin to happen.

Time no longer stands still.

Almost without anyone noticing, it begins to move again.

This essay was written in a conversation with ChatGPT

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This essay is part of the series “From Dissertation to Essay” and is based particularly on the doctoral dissertation’s existential-dialogical discussions of time, relationships, shame, bodily memory, trust, and the slow process through which people gradually regain a future after violations: Pettersen, K. T. (2009). An Exploration into the Concept and Phenomenon of Shame within the Context of Child Sexual Abuse: An Existential-Dialogical Perspective of Social Work within the Settings of a Norwegian Incest Centre. NTNU.