27.0 Implications for social work
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Eight of the participants were
employed at the Incest Centre in Vestfold and their work consisted first and
foremost of counselling those asking for help because of sexual abuse. Six of
these eight participants were victims of sexual abuse as children, one of them
had a husband who had sexually abused their daughter and one had no personal
experience of sexual abuse. Having personal experience of sexual abuse is by
some considered to be an advantage for those who work counselling other
victims, but it is not a condition of employment. All employees at the Incest
Centre in Vestfold, who have been sexually abused, must have worked through
their own abuse to the extent of clarifying their relation to it. Both men and
women can be employed. People who are sexual offenders are not permitted to
work at the Centre. Sexual offenders who ask for help at the centre are given
one conversation and referred to other helping institutions which focus on
helping offenders.
The users are primarily children and
adults who have been the victims of sexual abuse and their relatives. Most
people contact the Centre by telephone, and the lines are open 24 hours a day,
but many others visit the Centre in person for a consultation. There are always
two counsellors on duty. In special cases, users are allowed to live at the
Centre for a short period of time.
11 of the participants were users of
the Incest Centre in Vestfold, all of whom were victims of childhood sexual
abuse, except one woman who claims that her memory of the abuse is blurred and
that she is uncertain about the reality of her memories. All of these
participants have worked through the trauma of their abuse for years and were
considered strong enough and courageous enough to go through with the
interviews by the leaders of the Centre.
It seems to be important in the
process of healing shame to have the courage to face one’s past and share one’s
life stories with others. Ruth says that one must dare to re-think things that
have happened in the past. Having the possibility to do so might be felt like
standing on a precipice overlooking a great void. One does not know what the future
will be like when the shame, guilt and responsibility for what happened
disappear. She concludes that it’s a question of being courageous enough.
Ruth_1: You
have to place shame, responsibility and guilt where they belong, and dare to
think that right now you’re standing at a crossroad where it’s possible to
choose a completely different way of thinking. You don’t know how you’re
supposed to think or what it will be like when you no longer have to bear the
shame, guilt and responsibility for what happened. You don’t know about any of
this. It’s a question of having enough courage.
Skårderud (2001) also takes up the subject of courage in healing shame
and argues that courage means daring to share. It is important to understand
that courage is not a predefined quality; it is something that evolves through
dialogical emotional work. Healing shame involves developing a relationship
which gives one the courage to expose one’s inner self to the other. In the
following chapter I will focus on the process of healing shame, and investigate
what the participants have to say about giving and receiving help.
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