26.0 Discussion of empirical findings
One of my theoretical points of
departure is an understanding of the self as being social. The conception of a
social self is important in my opinion in order to explore shame as a
social-self-conscious emotion. I illustrate in figure 1 how in my opinion the social
self can be understood. Thereafter I focus on the experience of exclusion and
negative self-evaluation which seems to be closely related to shame. This
relationship is illustrated in figure 2. I discuss also the effect of
alienation of mind and body which seems to accompany shame and illustrate in
figure 3 the possible destructive forces which in my opinion seem to follow
from shame and not directly from sexual abuse. I finally discuss the
annihilation of trusting relationships which many of the participants seem to
describe as a consequence of sexual abuse and its relationship to shame. 26.1 The social self
Shame has been described in this dissertation
in sociological terms as one of the most important of all of our social
emotions (Scheff 2003) and in psychological terms as a self-conscious emotion
(Tangney and Fisher 1995; Tangney and Dearing 2002). In my opinion, these two
perspectives can be combined creating a perspective of shame as a
social-self-conscious emotion. The social self is described in figure 1 by
combining Cooley’s (1902/2006) three steps in the Looking-Glass self
(self-image, others, and self-concept), with Goffman’s (1967/2006) fourth step;
emotions. I then let these four steps of the social-self revolve around Mead’s
(1934/1967) concept of role-taking, which I interpret as the identity one takes
upon oneself in different social contexts.
The concept of self, according to
Møller (2008) refers to the core of ones personality and to ones mind and body
as a whole. The way one perceives and describes oneself is in my opinion
created in relation which others and not in social isolation. In this lifelong
process of developing oneself, emotions seem to have an important function.
This helps to explain how it is possible to create different identities
(role-taking) in different social circumstances. Several informants in this
study tell of how they are able to have a successful occupational identity and
at the same time being unsuccessful with the identity as housewife, friend or
as a daughter. Others tell of being a good mother and having a caring and
trustful identity to their children, but perceive their identity as a sex partner
as shameful.
There seems to be a relation between
having a high level of shame and a low self-image amongst the participants and
likewise that a low level of shame to a high self-image. It seems that most of
the participants who were users of the Incest Centre showed a higher level of
shame than the employees and in the same way a lower self-reported self-image.
Shame seems also to be one of the most crucial categories at the Center and it
is suggested that almost all of the conversations at the Centre has to do with
shame or shame related categories such as guilt, self-harming, hiding,
relations to others, and so forth.
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