Thursday, April 16, 2026

To understand another human being, begin with yourself

 

To understand another human being, begin with yourself

A reading of Søren Kierkegaard’s psychology

There is something paradoxical about research in the human sciences.

We often speak of “results,” as if the goal were clear answers—something we can underline and settle. But when the subject is the human being, something resists closure.

Perhaps what truly matters is not the answers, but the questions.

Research, then, is not a finished product, but a movement. A conversation that does not end. Søren Kierkegaard writes within this movement—not to conclude, but to open.

“To live is to remain inwardly engaged.”

Not as a doctor—but as one of the sick

Kierkegaard does not write as a detached observer. He refuses the safety of distance.

“I am not the physician—I am one of the sick.”

To understand another human being is not to stand outside life, but to step into it. It requires risk. Involvement.


The observer who is involved

Kierkegaard distinguishes between observers.

The curious one sees much.
The scientific one is worthy of respect.
But the one who is inwardly concerned sees what others do not.

This is not a weakness.

In my own experience from child welfare, it was often in moments of unease—when something touched me—that understanding deepened. Technical knowledge was not enough.

Engagement sharpens perception.


Unum noris omnes

Unum noris, omnes — If you know one, you know all.

For Kierkegaard, this “one” is yourself.

All understanding of others begins here.

Not as introspection alone, but as ethical self-reflection. To study human beings is to be personally involved. There is no neutral position.


When life breaks open

Human life begins in immediacy—before reflection.

Then something happens.

A crisis. A loss. A disruption.

And we become aware—of ourselves, of choice, of responsibility.

Kierkegaard calls this awakening spirit.

These moments are rarely comfortable. But they are often decisive.


The task of becoming oneself

The human being is a synthesis:

of the finite and the infinite,
of necessity and freedom.

And the self?

The self is the relation that relates itself to itself.

We are not simply given to ourselves. We must become ourselves.

This is where despair appears.

  • Not wanting to be oneself
  • Wanting to be oneself on one’s own terms

Both are forms of resistance.

Because the self is not self-created.


Freedom as acceptance

Here Kierkegaard differs from Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.

For Hegel, freedom is insight into necessity.
For Kierkegaard, it is the acceptance of necessity.

Not resignation—but a passionate act.

To become oneself is to respond to a task.


Truth without certainty

Truth is not certainty.

It is:

“objective uncertainty held fast in passionate inwardness.”

Faith is the tension between passion and uncertainty.

This means uncertainty is not something to remove—but something to live with.


The limits of understanding others

We can understand something of another person—but never fully.

Each individual lives within their own self-understanding.

This cannot be reduced to concepts.

Communication, then, is not transfer of information, but awakening.

The other must recognize themselves in what is said.


Despair as possibility

Despair is not only suffering.

It is also possibility.

Without despair, no real self-understanding.
Without crisis, no transformation.

It reveals that we are not yet who we are meant to be.


A closing reflection

Kierkegaard’s psychology is not a theory to apply, but a demand to live.

It asks:

Where am I in this?

What does it mean—for me—to become myself?


Reference (APA style)

Nordentoft, K. (1972). Kierkegaards psykologi. København: Hans Reitzel Forlag.


In a world searching for certainty, Kierkegaard reminds us:

To be human is not to arrive at final answers—
but to live the questions,
with seriousness,
with responsibility,
and with the courage to remain inwardly engaged.

That is where practical philosophy begins.


This text is written by me with suggestions from OpenAI/ChatGPT

The illustration is made by OpenAI/ChatGPT with suggestions from me.

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